Please, let me fuck your mom
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
