How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
