You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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