i can't believe i had my finger in that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
