it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
