one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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