he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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