i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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