dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
smell my finger.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
