Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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