Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
