remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
