how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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