Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
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