So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
