he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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