ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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