I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
