I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
