I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
