when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
