Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
