i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
