she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
