i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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