He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
