i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just want nice things and good sex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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