our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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