i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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