3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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