I wannas sexs uuuuu
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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