cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
