he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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