She is in my trunk
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
