The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
