i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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