I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
