people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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