there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
