Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
