What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
