Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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