Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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