bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
