We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos