dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone