Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought