He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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