..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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