Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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