I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
