I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize