What a fucking waste of an outfit
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
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It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
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im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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