His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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