I'm really into asian looking animals
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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