but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
