Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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