she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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