Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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