I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
