We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
